Yesterday I started to feel badly again, another 'episode' as I have begun to call them. I tried valiantly to move on with my life, fulfill my obligations, but alas, that was not meant to be. After arriving at my second job, the 'episode' started getting worse. By the insistence of my friends at the second job, I drove myself to the local Emergency Room. I then stayed for tests that led to the recommendation that I stay for a 24 hour cardiac observation.
So there I sat (layed, actually) all by myself waiting to see what, if anything, is going to make me feel better.
My niece offered to come out to be with me, but at that point I was waiting for a room upstairs, so with nothing more for her to do but sit and stare at me (at least at that point) I told her not to worry and that I would call her in the morning. Unfortunately, this is the part where my phone battery dies. No lie, the drama just keeps coming.
Bottom line, all symptoms point to heart trouble, no test can prove it. So, with no test able to prove heart trouble, we move on to number two on the list that fit the symptoms: Panic/Anxiety attacks.
Solution: Get healthy, make lifestyle changes, eat more fruits and vegetables, diminish stress.
Sounds so simple, doesn't it?
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Sunday, January 9, 2011
2011 - Off to a rocky start
As the first week of 2011 comes to a close, I find myself in not such a good way. I spent all but 2 days home sick with no root cause to my troubles. I have my suspicions: 1) stress, 2) grief, 3) bronchitis, 4) ulcer, 5) heart, 6) anemia, 7) hiatal hernia, 8) weight, 9) approaching menopause, 10) sedentary lifestyle, 11) bad diet, 12) financial stress....
I need to make some serious changes, and I need to make them now. The problem: changes cost money, I have less than the amount of money I need to meet basic monthly budget needs. By not making these changes that I can't afford financially, my budget is getting worse because of medical charges that need to be met. It's a vicious cycle that needs to be broken and I need to figure out how very quickly.
It's always been in my nature to take care of everything and everyone. Not a bad quality to have if only I remembered to include myself in that. Doesn't take a brain surgeon to figure out that there is a good place to start. But how, with so much crap having been piled on, where do I start to climb my way out?
Realign my priorities
It doesn't cost anything, and it will give me a starting point. To do this, I can't make rash 'public opinion' decisions. Popular rhetoric is that I should be number one on the priority list. I have two kids that I am supporting and trying to raise to become responsible, generous, happy adults. To do that, I need to make some sacrifices. What sacrifices am I willing to make? This internal discussion needs to go hand in hand with my priorities, and I have to reconcile with what is acceptable to ME, and not public opinion, as to how to create this codependent hierarchy.
Next week: The List
I need to make some serious changes, and I need to make them now. The problem: changes cost money, I have less than the amount of money I need to meet basic monthly budget needs. By not making these changes that I can't afford financially, my budget is getting worse because of medical charges that need to be met. It's a vicious cycle that needs to be broken and I need to figure out how very quickly.
It's always been in my nature to take care of everything and everyone. Not a bad quality to have if only I remembered to include myself in that. Doesn't take a brain surgeon to figure out that there is a good place to start. But how, with so much crap having been piled on, where do I start to climb my way out?
Realign my priorities
It doesn't cost anything, and it will give me a starting point. To do this, I can't make rash 'public opinion' decisions. Popular rhetoric is that I should be number one on the priority list. I have two kids that I am supporting and trying to raise to become responsible, generous, happy adults. To do that, I need to make some sacrifices. What sacrifices am I willing to make? This internal discussion needs to go hand in hand with my priorities, and I have to reconcile with what is acceptable to ME, and not public opinion, as to how to create this codependent hierarchy.
Next week: The List
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